At least make sure they are 18
Why
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
