I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
