i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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