I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
