last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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