Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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