I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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