You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
