hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
