I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
