I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
