There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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