so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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