The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
