found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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