Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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