She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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