The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
