Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Quick, to the slutcave!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You have to summon your inner elephant
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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