i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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