and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
