So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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