I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
