If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
