i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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