I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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