I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
BRING THE BAGELS
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
