he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
