Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
