also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
