I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
