so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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