high people should be assigned attendants
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
