I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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