the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
