whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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