I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
