By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
