Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
