Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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