i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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