K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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