good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
