you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
