this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
