Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
