I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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