I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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