I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
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