I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
did i walk over a car last night?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
