Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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