I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
